If not for the incredible grace of God and His resurrection power, not only would I have died years ago, but my soul would have been lost for eternity.
Raised in a Christian home, being a regular church-go-er and coming from a family of preachers and ministers, living for Jesus was normal for this Missionette/Daisy. I was filled with the Holy Spirit when I was 8½ years old and heard God’s audible voice one day while playing ‘church’ with my sister. I could recite scriptures, sing solos in the choir, and was a good little girl… but religion would not be enough for me. As I grew the world became more appealing to me, and the impression I was looking for was not found in my church. I knew God’s ways, right and wrong, the consequences of sin, and though I heard his voice and felt His spirit – I still left him.
I was away from the Lord only 3 years, and can honestly say that those were the worst three years of my entire life. The life of a Spirit-filled Christian not living for God, is a life most miserable. And though I was not the partier and could still be considered a ‘good girl’, my wandering ways would get the best of me. The gradual breakdown and compromise of my convictions led me into a sexual relationship beginning at the tender age of only 14.
At the age of 15½, I had an awakening.
I was receiving routine shots to build immunity to common allergies, when one day it all went awry. I went into anaphylactic shock, which lead to heart and respiratory failure. By the time I was admitted and stabilized at the local hospital, I had contracted a staph infection and high fever. The doctors could not make out what happened to me or why, were unable to anything on my behalf and informed my family I had but 3 days to live. The military flew my brother home to attend the funeral. He didn’t even know which sister they spoke of.
In the days ahead, a wonderful brother in the Lord help guide my family through prayer in faith, as they watched the Lord raise this young teen from a death-bed. The doctors do not understand why I survived or how I am living without ill effects and permanent damage. They recorded my story in their medical books. My mother told them to be sure that they wrote that they administered prayer!
Recovery was tough, but within that same year, in spite of the negative attitude of my doctors, I received the Presidential Physical Fitness Award. Only few in my class achieved this. God is good.
I would like to say that at this point I decided to serve the Lord.
But somehow I felt I was not finding genuinity in my church youth and began to doubt it were possible. I was still in soul ties with my boyfriend, and needed deliverance. That summer, I became pregnant. Without having a chance to realize what was going on in my body, my boyfriend had me in an abortion clinic. I remember thinking to myself, “How did I come to this? I don’t even believe in abortion… I don’t even believe in premarital sex.”
The aftermath of that action was devastating.
I could hardly deal with the loss and emptiness I was feeling and the guilt was too much to bear. I found myself one day standing at the edge of the Sacramento River – a place that used to be peaceful to me, now the place I was to take my life. There was only one problem – I believed in Hell. So I was faced with a difficult decision (at that time). Was I going to TAKE my life? Or was I willing to GIVE it? In that moment, that precious, loving voice of Holy Spirit ministered to me, and I walked away, weeping and crying.
Shortly after that, I walked into a small, pathetic brick building, where a church called Praise Chapel has recently opened. That day I went to the altar and lay my burdens down. I felt the demonic leave me, and the heavy weight was taken off my shoulders. I was just 16½, and had a sudden realization of purpose and calling.
The deception that there is nothing for young people is a lie and a ploy of the enemy to take our hope and divert us from what God wants in our lives. I have been in ministry as a child and since my teens – and there is no other way to live!